RESOLVE is a huge support system and database for families struggling with infertility. They have challenged bloggers world wide to support infertility awareness month by answering this question: "What is the biggest infertility myth and how has it effected your life or the life of your friends and family members?"
My husband and I have not used birth control since early 2007. We have been blessed with one child (the subject of this blog) through the miracles of God and infertility treatments. While we were trying for baby#1 there was no warning signs that we would have trouble, just negative pregnancy tests month after month. Only another family with infertility can understand this struggle and the questions in the back of your mind. The uncertainty was the most painful part of this struggle for me. "Can I even have a baby?" "What is wrong with me?" "What did I do to deserve this punishment?" So when we decided to see an infertility specialist we heard a lot of advice, the most common was "Just relax and it will happen." This is the myth I would like to explore because it was one of the most painful things you could have said to me at that time. Stress is caused by infertility, not the cause of it. In fact, trying not to stress would stress me out! It is very difficult to be patient when you want to have a baby, and it seems like everyone you know either gets pregnant on the first try or by accident! At a time in my life when it was not known if we would ever have a biological child we were actually told "You should just adopt and then you'll get pregnant!" This is also a common infertility myth since the birthrate for women after adoption is that same as the general population. This is one of the worst things you can say to a family just realizing they have a reproductive disease. Adoption is a wonderful in cases where the family has decided that is the way they would like to build their family but is not something you jump right into or choose as a means to have a biological child!
I'm not sure why so many people feel they need to give advice to a family going through the battle of infertility if they have not been through it themselves. What worked for your family will most likely not work for us. I have an ovulatory disorder, which means I do not normally ovulate. Without ovulation there will be no pregnancy. Luckily for us this is a fairly easy and straightforward disease to treat but should not be casually dismissed. Infertility treatments are physically and emotionally painful, exhausting, embarrassing, and expensive! The drugs have a long list of side effects which include for me insomnia, daily head aches, mood swings, bloating, weight gain, and hot flashes that happen at the worst time possible. Infertility can put serious stress on a marriage, family, and pocket book. What families need at this time are support, prayers, and understanding. One in eight families will experience some degree of infertility in their lifetimes. Either yourself or someone very close to you are likely to go through this battle. It leaves us changed and so much more appreciative of the small blessing in life. If you have questions about infertility or are looking for support, a great resource is RESOLVE.org. Please be part of the RESOLVE challenge this month and break the silence of infertility.
Here is a great video to help to understand what 7 million families are going through: Infertility Is....